Time froze. And just like you see in the movies, Blake's question, "What about me?" echoed in my mind several times.
What will happen to Blake once this new baby arrives? How wonderful it would be if we walk in our front door and Blake embraces this baby with open arms and never looks back. But let's be realistic:
Blake has had all of our attention for 2 and a half years. My whole life revolves around Blake. His schedule is my schedule. But that's going to change rather abruptly come Thanksgiving. And how do you explain that to a 2 and a half year old?
I think what I fear most is that Blake will feel less loved as a result of this new baby. That he'll retreat to his room one day wondering, "Why doesn't Mom love me anymore?" Maybe his thought processes aren't that advanced. Still, his "What about me?" question was enough to make me cry as I walked home from the grocery store on Saturday. (Well that, and being an incredibly emotional pregnant woman).
And while it will be a difficult transition for all of us once this yet-to-be named baby boy arrives, I do truly believe Blake will benefit from having a sibling. I love my siblings and can't imagine what life would be like without them. And the home videos my parents have of my siblings and me wouldn't be nearly as hilarious if it was just me in them.
Obviously there's no turning back. This baby is coming. Blake will be a big brother. We will be parents of 2 children very soon. And if the stack of parenting books on my night stand is any indication of my perceived lack of parenting skills, there's a good chance Blake is going to feel lost in the shuffle of all this baby stuff. But hopefully everything will work itself out and Blake and baby #2 will be best buds before we know it.
Or at least they won't kill each other.
