A conversation with Life

Life: Hey Whitney! How are you these days?

Me: I'm good. Well, actually, I'm kind of upset with you.

Life: Why? What did I do this time?

Me: Well, I've discovered something that's a little unfair about you. And it's upsetting me.

Life: I know. I know. It's not fair that some people are rich and some people are poor. And it's not fair that children are starving in the world while you get to throw away food. I get it. But, that's just me. That's just Life.

Me: Oh, actually I was talking about something else that's not fair. And now that I think about it, it pales in comparison to the disparity you just mentioned.

Life: Well, what is it? What's so unfair?

Me: Well, I just noticed noticed something in the mirror today. I'm just getting over a minor breakout of zits. AND I have a few gray hairs. And I was just thinking that it's not really fair that I'm too old for zits and too young for gray hair, yet I have them both...at.the.same.time.

Life: Ya, you're right. That's not really fair at all. I mean, you probably thought when you were a little girl that there would be a time in your life that you'd have clear skin and thick, beautiful, dark brown hair. And that it would be like that for a good chunk of your life.

Me: Ya! I did, actually.

Life: Well, sorry sister. That's just not how I go. That's not the way Life works. But at least you have your health. And food to eat. And a place to sleep at night. And clothes to wear. And...

Me: Ok ok I get it. I'll shut up now...

l-o-v-e

The first time I was sure that I loved Blake was 2 weeks after he was born. That probably sounds weird. You might be thinking, "What? You didn't instantly fall in love with him as soon as you saw him?" Yes, I did love Blake as soon as I got to see him. I loved Blake while he was still in utero! But, while having a baby can be a wonderful experience, there were times after I came home from the hospital that I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I remember holding a screaming Blake one night and thinking, "I've made a mistake. I thought I was cut out for motherhood, but clearly I am NOT!"

While still reeling from an emergency c-section and learning how to cope with a husband who was working in a city a couple thousand miles away, I took Blake for his 2-week check up. (With much needed assistance from my mother. Blake freaked out when I put him in his car seat and I was in tears, ready to call and reschedule the appointment. I.was.a.mess.) I digress.

At Blake's 2-week check up he had to have his heel pricked. As soon as the nurse pricked his heel, the loudest, most helpless cry erupted from his tiny 2-week old body. And I felt it. I felt his pain and had to fight back tears. It was then that I was 100% sure I loved Blake and that this motherly love was here to stay.

At each doctor visit when Blake has to get an immunization, or his blood drawn like today (shudder), I feel it again. I feel the urge to hold back tears as my little baby cries out. I know the shots are for his own good. And there will be other things that cause him pain in his life, whether they come from shots or from other sources. And I'll be there to comfort him every time. Because I love him.

"Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?"

In case you were wondering, Blake is 22 lbs and 30 inches of pure adorableness.

1 year (video update!)

We celebrated Blake's first birthday yesterday! Blake got to play with one of his buddies while I had a root canal and then once Daddy got home, we had a party! And even though we didn't invite anyone over, I was so exhausted by the end of the night that it felt like we had thrown a huge party for him!

He was tentative at first...

but then he dug right in!

Skyping with grandparents

I stole some of his cupcake...

but he didn't care!

 

Opening gifts and skyping with the other set of grandparents

Wait, this party has an end? 

(After spending way too much time trying to figure out how to upload a video that is too large, I finally figured out how to compress and upload it. Phew!)

Happy first birthday, Blake!

1 more day

Tomorrow is Blake's first birthday! I couldn't decide if we should have people come over for a party or just do a family thing. The family thing won. When I told the dentist that we weren't having a party and jokingly said Blake wouldn't remember it anyway, he said, "Well but you'll have pictures of it." Oh great. Thanks dentist*. Now I feel like a horrible mother.

We're sticking with the family thing and will be having a fun-filled day of activities that Blake currently enjoys. We'll do a little car watching, followed by Blake watching videos of himself. We'll probably play with his toys and then if it isn't raining maybe we'll hit up the playground. To top it all off, Blake will get his very first cupcake and some ice cream in celebration of turning 1!

I can't believe this day is almost here. Everyone told me the time would fly and he'd be 1 year old before I knew it. I didn't believe them when he was waking up every 2 hours to eat. I didn't believe them when he was projectile vomiting into my mouth (shudder). I didn't believe them when he was cutting his first tooth.

But now, I'm a believer. I'm about to be the mother of a toddler...

*No, my dentist's name is not Crentist.

another day at the office...

the grass is greener

I know I said that I'm so ready for warmer weather to be here. And I really am.

But, I'm not ready for summer. I'm not ready for the heat, the sweating all day and night, the humidity.

That's probably not fair to complain about winter AND summer.

But I'm just not ready.

older=better?

When I was a teenager I couldn't wait to be a full-fledged adult. Some of my reasons as to why being grown up would be so much better than being a "kid" included:

I'll have my own car
I can go anywhere I want
I can go where ever I want
I can eat whatever I want...on my own couch
I'll have my own apartment
I can sleep until noon and won't get in trouble
I can eat brownies for breakfast
Essentially freedom to the max

There was a period of time when I was pretty free to do whatever the heck I wanted to do. It was called college. And it feels like it was an eternity ago.

But in college I wasn't really on my own or grown up. I did stupid things, although they were pretty fun (pranking dorms, going to Del Taco at all hours of the night, getting chocolate milk thrown at our window...well that wasn't fun) I still didn't know what it meant to be an actual adult. Even when I was first married I was only beginning to experience adulthood. In the last 2 or 3 years I've really started to grasp what it means to be grown up. And sometimes I long for the yesteryears of youth. Here's a translation of what it really means to be an adult:

I'll have my own car = I'll have my own car payment, insurance payment, gas to buy, and repairs to make.
I can go anywhere I want = I can be gone between for a very specific amount of time during a very specific part of the day because it will interfere with Blake's nap.
I can go where ever I want = I can go where ever I want as long as it's free.
I can eat whatever I want...on my own couch = I will learn to not eat anything on my couch.
I'll have my own apartment = I will pay way too much in rent. And a studio apartment is not something that is "really cool".
I can sleep until noon and won't get in trouble = I'll still be tired if I sleep until noon so I might as well get up now.
I can eat brownies for breakfast = I can eat brownies for breakfast when brownies have the same nutritional value as broccoli.
Essentially freedom to the max = Freedom? Ha.

Adulthood isn't all that bad. But it's funny how you can long for something because you have no clue what it will actually be like. Then you get it and you realize you should have read the fine print.

a list of things you don't need to know about me,

but I'm posting it anyway. I stole this from Losing the baby weight, a fun little blog you should check out!

A. Age: 26

B. Bed size: Queen (and to think our first bed was a double...not.even.kidding.)

C. Chore you dislike: washing dishes

D. Dogs: are great but I don't have one

E. Essential start to your day: P90X (although it usually gets done in the early afternoon)

F. Favorite color: green

G. Gold or silver: silver

H. Height: 5' 6''

I. Instruments you play(ed): violin, recorder

J. Job title: Molder of Life

K. Kids: 1

L. Live: An apartment

M. Mom’s name: Mom, Mommy, Ma

N. Nicknames: mama, Whit, Whitty, Whittyboo, hey you

O. Overnight hospital stays: delivering a baby

P. Pet peeves: when people interrupt me, when people smack their lips when they chew, not being mindful of others in general

Q. Quote from a movie: "To infinity, and beyond!"

S. Siblings: 2 older brothers and a younger sister

T. Time you wake up: 7:30 and then 9:00

U. Underwear: under where?

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Carrots

W. What makes you run late: poopy diapers, a baby who hates being in his stroller, my own disorganization

X. X-rays you’ve had: most recently I had x-rays of my teeth

Y. Yummy food you make: anything with chocolate

Z. Zoo animal favorites: giraffe (have you ever seen them hit each other with their necks?!)

Sometimes I wonder...

where did my upper lip go?????

We all needed a nap.

I searched my pictures to find one where my upper lip was showing when I smiled. No such luck. But, I swear my smile is better than that. Maybe it just happens when I'm tired, which seems like most of the time these days. (My eyes are literally closed in this picture. I can hear my mom now: "Perk up, girl!")

You know it's a bad day to workout when...

1 minute into your workout you get your hair pulled out by a workout band. Stupid workout band.

At least someone can use it without getting hurt.
 (I know. His outfit doesn't match. It's just going to be one of those days.)

Note to self

Check your baby's diaper before you put his shoes on. It will save you a lot of trouble.

habits I need to break in the next year

Disclaimer: My bad habits in no way reflect my upbringing. My mother taught me better than this. I think this is my own way of rebelling. And let's be honest, if this is rebelling, she did a pretty good job...

drinking from the milk carton
eating raw cookie dough
not showering until the afternoon (I do have a good reason for this most days...)
watching reality TV
eating waffles for lunch...and dinner...on the same day
not drinking enough water
not eating enough fruits and veggies
leaving clothes on the floor
staying up past my bedtime
eating too many cookies


I can see it now: Blake sees me eating raw cookie dough and asks if he can have some. I won't have a leg to stand on.

in case you are in need of something adorable

Hey! I thought we said no pictures, Mom!

Phone's for you...

No, really, it's for you.

While you chat, I'll just sit nicely in your lap and read.

Actually I want to sit on the floor and turn the pages myself.

Ok, fine. One more picture. But that's all!

my morning

6:30- bottle for Blake
8:00- shower, get ready
8:25- check email
8:35- wake Blake, eat breakfast
9:00- finish getting ready, dress Blake
9:03- "Blake, please please please poop before we leave so Jill doesn't have to change you."
9:04- "Poop, poop, poop, poop!"
9:05- "You have until 9:10 to poop. The diaper will be changed at 9:10."
9:05- squatting and grunting
9:10- diaper change, finish dressing Blake
9:15- We are actually ready on time and heading out the door.
9:18- Yes! I have enough for a subway fair, meaning I don't have to try to refill my card while holding Blake. (bye bye $2.25)
9:19- Train! Well, I wanted to catch the one after this train. But who knows how long I'll have to wait if I don't get on this one. Better early than late.
9:22- One stop later: "This is 59th Street. This is the last stop for this train. It will not be transporting passengers. Please get off and wait for the next 95th Street bound train."
9:26- watch the train conductor walk through every subway car to make sure no passengers stayed on when they closed the doors
9:29- board the next train
9:35- drop Blake off at Jill's (thank you thank you thank you!)
9:39- swipe card again (another $2.25)
9:42- Jeez!!! Someone had garlic for dinner last night!
9:55- get off train and walk to dental office
10:00- find dental office, but walk around because I'm 30 minutes early
10:04- go into dental office, fill out forms
10:20- see dental assistant, take x-rays. Why are those stupid things they put in your mouth for x-rays so painful?
10:30- give dentist the history of my sensitive tooth
10:32- Dr. Goldman, with her Russian accent, says she is going to scare me, proceeds to tell me the worst case scenario for my tooth
10:35- cleaning begins, dentist asks me questions, I awkwardly try to answer while she cleans
10:50- review of x-rays, root canal needed ASAP
11:00- root canal referral given, sign referral, nice receptionist tells me how to contact endodontist
11:05- try to pay my co-pay only to find out they don't accept debit cards or check, I have no cash on me
11:10- Erica, nice receptionist, tells me I can pay next time, gives me a toothbrush for Blake and a pink one in case I ever have a girl
11:15- put more money on my metrocard, catch the next train to pick up Blake (yep, another $2.25)
11:20- wonder why a girl on the subway is wearing glasses with no lenses, they look cute, but at least put some fake lenses in them so you don't look silly
11:50- pick Blake up, fussy and needs a nap
11:55- catch next train home (that would be a grand total of $9 in subway fare to go to the dentist)
12:15- nap time for Blake, root canal scheduled


Amazing how life can change in a year...

sippy cups

Blake has been using a sippy cup for a few months now. But it wasn't until last night that I discovered the proper way to clean a sippy cup. Let's just say what I found when I removed the rubber thingy from the inside of the lid was enough to make me gag. I guess I didn't realize I needed to be cleaning that part of the cup after each use. It was disgusting. So much for that mother-of-the-year award.

Video evidence of why my sister is my best friend

The video below probably won't be funny to anyone else except for my sister and me. It's embarrassing. It's silly. It's not something I want readily available to the world. But, it is the only video evidence I have of why my sister is my best friend. I literally have 5 other videos of us singing this same song, but I'm laughing so hard I can't get through the second verse.

I feel like I've posted this video before...

My sister makes me laugh. I make her laugh. We wear the same outfits way too often. Other people might be embarrassed if this happened to them. We would just point and laugh. I really hope that if I have 2 girls one day, they can be best friends like I am with my sister. It is my goal to live really close to her one day. Then we can make more hilarious videos.

tooth fairy

First, I thought it was a cold.

After a few days I was convinced it was croup. He developed the classic barky cough that's associated with croup.

It went away.

Next was the allergy theory. I was almost certain after 2 days of watery eyes, runny nose, and a ridiculous amount of sneezing that my son was now allergic to something in our apartment. It was going to be mold. I just knew it.

Next came the coughing spells with gasps for air in between. Pertussis. Yep. He fit the description perfectly. Starts out with cold symptoms, then 2 weeks later the whooping cough appears and antibiotics were going to be needed.

Lots of snot, one doctor visit, and $40 later I learned what my son had come down with: a nice pair of 2 front teeth.

(In my defense, he's been sick for over 2 weeks AND the nice nurse on the 24 hour nurse line recommended I take him to the doctor.)