apologies

I've noticed as I've gotten older I have become more aware of the childish things I've done in my past. There are lots of things I wish I could go back and change, but most of those things don't really bother me. I have forgotten about them and moved on. But, there are 2 experiences that I will always remember and that I will always wish I could change.

When I was in 6th grade, all of the 6th graders were in trailers outside of the school. We were changing classes one day and I saw a large group of students standing in a circle. The group just happened to be right in front of the trailer I needed to go into. Somehow I ended up with a front row view of what was happening. A few boys were throwing rocks and kicking a girl who was huddled in a ball on the ground. This girl had been picked on since elementary school and to this day I cannot figure out why. I don't know how that stuff starts. So as I stood in the circle watching this girl be harassed I remember thinking, "You have to do something. You have to help her." But, I was terrified. I was so afraid if I stood up for this girl that I would start to be made fun of. So I just stood there, frozen with fear and disgusted with myself and the other students. Soon a teacher came outside and called us all animals and told us to get to class. I have always felt bad for not doing something to help that girl. It's amazing how a stupid decision in 6th grade can stay with you forever.

The second experience I wish I could change happened in 8th grade. I was taking Latin and our teacher was...lacking in the classroom management department. We only had about 8 students in our class, but no matter what he did he could not get the class under control. A lot of the students in my class were incredibly rude to our teacher. I don't ever remember being rude to our teacher, but I do remember doing things to annoy him. (Which was so not typical of me.) Now that I am a teacher and truly understand how difficult it is, I wish I could go back and change the way I behaved. If I had students that behave the way I behaved with this teacher I would hate my life. I would quit. I would give up. It wouldn't be worth it to me.

As I've reflected on these experiences I've realized that in some small way karma came back to bite me in the butt. There have been times when I've felt left out and not accepted just like the girl I watched being beat up in 6th grade. There have been times when a student has been rude to me and that's all I can think about for the rest of the week. So if that 6th grade girl or Latin teacher ever read my blog, I'm sorry for being a jerk. I promise I'm not a jerk.

On a lighter note, 5 more weeks until the little one gets here! Yikes!!!!

Yuletide, 2 years, and panty hose

This year was a Christmas of firsts:

1. First Christmas not spent in Virginia
2. First Christmas as a paid working professional
3. First Christmas pregnant

Ok, so that's not a lot of firsts, but they are pretty big, life-changing firsts.

Evan and I spent Christmas in California this year. It was actually nice to not have a white Christmas this year. I like the snow, but I know I'll get my fill by mid-January so no snow on Christmas was fine by me. I got some much needed pregnancy clothes and much needed baby clothes. When I look at how small the onesies I have are I can’t imagine something being that small. But as Evan reminded me, I don’t want the baby to be much bigger when he’s born! We had a great Christmas this year. I just can’t believe next year we’ll have a baby to buy gifts for!

Evan and I also celebrated our 2 year anniversary! Our 10 hour car ride from California to Utah wasn’t the most exciting celebration, but we had fun reminiscing about the past year and our favorite memories. My favorite memories always involve Evan trying to make me laugh. His favorite memory was when I told him we were going to be parents. I think his memory trumps mine! But I do know I’ll need a good laugh at least weekly for the next few months. It’s gonna get crazy here!

Now, on to panty hose. I will never understand the science behind panty hose. First of all, I can’t stand things that are tight and uncomfortable. And I think if you look panty hose up in the dictionary you’ll see those two words: tight and uncomfortable. I’ve never been a panty hose wearer, but when it gets really cold in Utah I have to pull them out. When purchasing panty hose I never go by the sizing chart they provide. I just always buy extra extra large because I figure they won’t be tight and uncomfortable. But each time I open the package and start to put them on, I am disappointed. I squeeze into them and think, “These are supposed to fit someone between 5’2’’ and 5’9’’ from 200 to 320 pounds and they don’t even fit me!” So now that I’m pregnant I have really come to hate panty hose. I bought even bigger sizes to accommodate the human growing inside me, but I still have the same result. I did buy a pair of maternity tights yesterday, hoping they will be somewhat comfortable. And if by some miracle they are comfortable, I will probably wear them even when I’m not pregnant. But let’s just say I won’t be surprised if they are just as uncomfortable as all the others. So one day when I don’t have much to do (which won’t be for another 18 years I guess) I’m going to create a pair of panty hose for the everyday woman: a pair of panty hose that are just tight enough to stay up without cutting off the circulation to the lower half of the body. And I will be rich.

What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?

Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him.

Haha just a little pregnancy humor for my readers out there. (Yes, all 3 of you.) Evan does know what's good for him and compliments my growing figure, even after a few bowls of ice cream on my part. Here are some pictures of our little boy! I'm so excited we are going to have a boy. I have 2 older brothers and Evan is the oldest in his family so I thought it would be fun to have a boy first so one day he could be the big older, protective brother of our other children. Ha, other children. I'm already thinking of having more even though I haven't had one. I obviously haven't been 9 months and 1 week pregnant before. Enjoy the pics of our cute little bundle of boy!
















Profile picture...
cute nose!

Foot!

I considered blurring certain parts of this
picture as to not embarrass our little boy.
But then I remembered I don't know how to
do that...so oh well!

bump-de-bump

I couldn't think of anything cute with the word "bump" in it for the title, so the title of this post is lame. Oh well. Here are a few pictures of my ever-growing tummy! I'm totally embracing this time in my life. When else will it be cute to gain weight? Never. I think I'll indulge in a little ice cream as soon as I upload these pictures. I can just blame my weight gain on the baby, right? In all honesty, I eat a lot better now than I did pre-pregnancy, so I don't feel bad about a little ice cream every now or day. (Hahah get it? Everyday!) Anyway, enjoy (Mom! These are mostly for you since I chose to abandon the east coast. I do feel incredibly guilty for not being closer to share this experience with you. I'm working on a time machine of sorts because flying is just too expensive...and scary.)

5 months...and counting!

Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing

It's been way toooooooo long since I have posted anything on here, and it's way toooooooooo late for me to write a long, witty blog post about how exciting my life is now. So I'll just give you the highlights. I am teaching 4th grade in American Fork and enjoying it very much. I finally have my own classroom! Although I am exhausted at 3:30 each day, I am glad I have the chance to use what I learned (and paid for) during my years at BYU. I'll have to start making a list of the hilarious things my students say. The most recent innocent, yet gut-busting comment came during social studies. We were talking about the different forms of government that have been in place in Utah from Native Americans to the government we have today. As we discussed how the pioneers moved West and settled in what is now Salt Lake City, I told the students that they named the area where they lived Deseret. I then asked if any students knew what the word Deseret means. After several attempts at guessing the right answer, I called on one student who was enthusiastically raising his hand. We'll call him Jimmy. The exchange went as follows:

Me: Jimmy, do you think you know what Deseret means?
Jimmy: Ummmm, does it mean bookstore?
Me: Ha! Hey, that's a great guess! Are you thinking about Deseret Book?
Jimmy: Ya.
Me: Well it doesn't mean bookstore, but good thinking!

Hilarious. I probably would have guessed the same thing if I hadn't learned what Deseret means from wikipedia...I mean The Book of Mormon. I really like having fun with my students and am getting excited for Halloween. I've told them I am really going to try to scare them and they are convinced I can't. We'll have to see about that!

In more personal and exciting news...Evan and I are having a baby! Our baby, who will probably not actually have a name even after it is born because we cannot agree on a moniker we both like, is due March 17th! The first trimester was pretty easy. I threw up once and could handle the nausea. At the end of my first trimester, the nausea got a lot worse and I had ZERO energy. I would come home from school and fall asleep at 7 pm. I am almost 5 months along and feel like I have more energy, but have been having bouts of vomiting the past few days. Gross, but it isn't terrible. I mean, I don't like refunding my breakfast right after I eat it, but I usually feel better afterwards. We find out if we are having a boy or a girl at the end of October. We are beyond excited to start our family!

So life is busy and kinda stressful, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I like being busy and contributing monetarily to our family, especially now that we know we'll be adding another mouth to feed soon. Hope this was a good enough update because mother and baby are ready for bed!

P.S. Any name suggestions are appreciated!

Why I Love Broccoli

Ok, I'll admit it...my last post was slightly depressing. So I thought it would be most appropriate to blog about something that makes me happy; something that makes my heart skip a beat: broccoli. That's right, beautiful green broccoli. Ok so I exaggerate a little when I say it makes my heart skip a beat (that would actually be chocolate) but I seriously have a lot of affection for this veggie! Let me tell you why:
1. Broccoli looks like a miniature tree. When I eat it, I can pretend I'm a giant and that I'm so big that I can pop these little trees in my mouth to munch on.

2. Broccoli is green. And I always hear people saying, "Go green!" these days so hey, I'm goin' green with broccoli.

3. Broccoli is a cruciferous vegetable. What is that, you ask? I have no idea, but it sounds like it could kick some major butt when it comes to viruses and diseases. (kick-butt definition)

4. Broccoli is so healthy for you, it is sometimes called a "miracle food". How many of you are gonna turn down a miracle? No one? Ya, that's what I thought.

5. I love the way broccoli tastes. I know that may be weird to some people, but I think it tastes delicious. Sometimes I even get cravings for it. I get cravings for cheeseburgers and fries more often, but when I get a hankerin' for some miniature trees, I just gotta satisfy it. And I definitely don't feel bad about that.

Although I am betrothed to broccoli, there is one thing I could do without: funky broccoli breath. But other than that, I love me some broccoli! Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you why I love corn!

fRuStRaTiOnS!

Right now there are lots of other things I need to be doing (exercising, making dinner, planning sharing time, planning my lesson) but one of the reasons I have a blog is to vent when I'm frustrated, whether anyone reads about it or not. And right now I am frustrated to the max.

This is how I usually look while at my computer...ask Evan.

I am frustrated that my husband, a very qualified, hard working college graduate cannot seem to find a job. I am frustrated that after many late nights, exhaustion-induced tears, lesson plans, great evaluations and references, and good interviews I have not been offered a teaching job. I know, I know, you're probably saying "join the club, lady!" As I receive email after email telling me that "the position has been filled, but please feel free to apply for other openings as they become available" I want to scream. I can't figure out why I'm not good enough. I can't figure out why after doing what I thought I was supposed to do I may not get a chance to practice what I've learned. Life has no guarantees, you say? Well you are 110% correct. But as much as I keep thinking "I just wish someone would give me a chance" I know I'm not the only person in the world dealing with this situation. Take, for example, the young man who came to my door just a few moments ago. He was trying to convince my husband to buy a $40 bottle of "miracle" cleaner. He seemed pretty down and out as he kept repeating that he only had 2 bottles left and really needed to sell them. Usually door-to-door salespeople bother me, but as I listened to Anthony relentlessly pitching this product to my husband I couldn't help but think, "Wow, you are in the exact same boat as I am. We both just want someone to give us a chance. We both keep getting turned down even though we are trying to be honest, hard workers." Do I think his $40 miracle cleaner works? No. Has he ever used it? Probably not. But I couldn't help but be frustrated as my husband had to turn him away. I would have done the same thing as Evan. We can't afford to be laying down $40 for cleaning fluid. And I'm sure Anthony, who has probably been out all day being turned down at every door, doesn't want to hear that we understand his problems as we sit in our air conditioned apartment. I don't know where Anthony lives, but it was just another reminder of how unfair life can be. Well I guess in the temporal sense life is usually unfair. And since I cannot currently remember my existence before this life, I sometimes have a hard time accepting the dichotomy of this temporal estate. But I've been taught and believe that in an eternal sense it is 100% fair. And that we will be blessed for the faith and good works we demonstrate on this earth. So as for right now I'll keep applying for jobs and hoping that someone will see that I am worth hiring. And if no one sees that worth then I'll pick something else to do and be just as happy. I hope Anthony keeps trying really hard too. One day when I have $40 to spend on cleaner I will gladly buy it from him.