"What about me?"

With his head cocked back and his little hands reaching over my growing bump, Blake asked me that question. From the living room Evan yelled, "We're going to be hearing that a lot more once the baby gets here!"

Time froze. And just like you see in the movies, Blake's question, "What about me?" echoed in my mind several times.

What will happen to Blake once this new baby arrives? How wonderful it would be if we walk in our front door and Blake embraces this baby with open arms and never looks back. But let's be realistic:

Blake has had all of our attention for 2 and a half years. My whole life revolves around Blake. His schedule is my schedule. But that's going to change rather abruptly come Thanksgiving. And how do you explain that to a 2 and a half year old?

I think what I fear most is that Blake will feel less loved as a result of this new baby. That he'll retreat to his room one day wondering, "Why doesn't Mom love me anymore?" Maybe his thought processes aren't that advanced. Still, his "What about me?" question was enough to make me cry as I walked home from the grocery store on Saturday. (Well that, and being an incredibly emotional pregnant woman).

And while it will be a difficult transition for all of us once this yet-to-be named baby boy arrives, I do truly believe Blake will benefit from having a sibling. I love my siblings and can't imagine what life would be like without them. And the home videos my parents have of my siblings and me wouldn't be nearly as hilarious if it was just me in them.

Obviously there's no turning back. This baby is coming. Blake will be a big brother. We will be parents of 2 children very soon. And if the stack of parenting books on my night stand is any indication of my perceived lack of parenting skills, there's a good chance Blake is going to feel lost in the shuffle of all this baby stuff. But hopefully everything will work itself out and Blake and baby #2 will be best buds before we know it.

Or at least they won't kill each other.

Potty Training: Day 3

To be perfectly honest, this whole potty training thing has gone incredibly well. Blake hasn't had an accident since the first day and he's going to the bathroom unprompted and taking care of most of the duties that come along with toileting oneself (not all, of course). We haven't ventured far from home, so teaching him how to hold it for longer periods while we are not near a bathroom will be our next hurdle. I know there will be accidents and bed-wettings in our future, but that's normal. My only concerns now are:

-being away from home and not having a bathroom accessible (as mentioned above)

-weaning Blake from the treats he so readily receives for a successful trip to the bathroom (I've only been giving him a treat if he remembers to ask for one. I figure I won't buy anymore candy/small toys and when we're all out then that's it for potty rewards.)

-him using going to the bathroom to stall nap/bed time. (He's already started to do this.)

All in all, this potty training stuff has been a very positive experience. And I think it's due in large part to Blake being ready. While I think the techniques* I've used have worked well (especially for accidents), I don't think the past 3 days would have gone nearly as well if Blake had not been ready to learn how to use the potty. And I can't imagine struggling with him day in and day out if he had decided it wasn't time. So thanks, Blake. We make a great team! (And Daddy, too!)

*And thanks, Lindsay for letting me borrow your potty training book!

Potty Training: Thoughts on Day 2

6:45 am:
Blake: Mom! Mom! Momma! Mom!
Me: (Ugh, seriously!) (stumble into Blake's room) Good morning, Blakey!
Blake: Need go pee-pee!!
Me: Oh ok, let's go fast fast fast!

-I can't believe he stayed dry all night. That's awesome!

-I should have bought a stash of treats for myself.

-Wow. I think poop in a training potty is more disgusting than poop in a diaper.

-No accidents so far! Maybe we can go for a short walk outside.

-Short walk turned into playground visit. Wonder how long this will last.

-Do we walk home or do I let him pee at the playground? If we go home we aren't coming back and we've only been here 5 minutes.

-Ok, so I'm one of those, "You can pee in the bushes" kind of moms. Note to self: don't let Blake play in the bushes anymore.

-2 potty attempts in the bushes. Time to head home before he wets himself.

-Yes! Nap time!

Potty Training: Thoughts on Day 1

-Ok, let's get this started!

-I'm too tired to do this.

-2 accidents already? We've only been at this an hour, but I thought for sure he'd get the hang of it pretty quickly.

-On the other hand, how much can I expect from a 2 year old who's only ever peed when the urge came? 2 accidents probably isn't that bad.

-When is nap time?

-I think I've said, "Blake, do you need to go to the potty?" almost 300 times today.

-Another accident. He caught himself and ran to the potty, so I guess that's progress.

-I'm never going to be able to leave my house again.

-I should've made Evan take work off so he could train Blake.

-If this bout of training doesn't take, it's Evan's turn to try next.

-It's a good thing I started this training now, because 8 months pregnant Whitney would've said, "Let him stay in diapers."

-I didn't realize how much of my day was being spent on the couch. I miss you, couch.

in training

When my mother-in-law asked me if I had any big plans for August, I thought for a second and realized this month is going to be pretty low-key. Well, let's be honest. Since I found out I was pregnant my life has been as low-key as it possibly can be with a 2 year old (which doesn't feel very low-key, but walking too and from the playground every day takes about as much energy as I can muster so that's pretty much all we do.)

So, a wide open August plus the fact that Blake has started to demand a clean diaper anytime he wets the one he is currently wearing have led me to the decision to begin potty training Blake.

Fears:
-I'm starting too early. I've heard if you start before your child is ready it can be a total nightmare to try to get them to learn how to use the potty.

-That's pretty much my only fear.

So that's my August. I will be potty training my almost 2 and a half year old. Prayers appreciated.

new momma

Recently I've been reflecting on the days when I was a brand new mom with a brand new baby...and how much I thought I knew but didn't. I thought about when my mom came to help me after Evan started his job in New York and how she never really offered any advice unless I asked for it. She let me be in charge of how I wanted her to take care of Blake while I was napping or at work. And I wonder if inside she just smiled to herself thinking, "One day she'll look back on this and laugh at how ridiculous she's being."

Because I was ridiculous.

I was telling my mom how to take care of an infant when she had raised 4 wonderful (wink) children. I mean, I wasn't telling her every single thing to do. But I balked when she wanted to give Blake a little bit of water.

"No, Mom. You were there when the doctor said he gets plenty of water with his formula. He doesn't need any water!"

Or when she had the TV on at night while she fed him.

"I'd rather the TV not be on at night if you're up feeding him."

Or if she wanted to grab a bite to eat or run to the store while I was at work.

"I don't really want him riding in the car that much."

Ridiculous.

With baby #2, I feel like I'm going to be less uptight. Water? Sure, give him (or her) a little sip. TV on while the baby's awake? Meh, why not. Car ride? Let's take a trip across the country!

My mom was a good sport. She allowed me to come into my own as a mother. Instead of stepping in and telling me how to take care of Blake, she let me take the lead, even if I was a little ridiculous and even if it wasn't how she would necessarily do things. I often forget with both my mother and mother-in-law that they have experience. They were in the trenches just like I am changing diapers, cleaning up after little ones, and trying to teach them how to be kind and respectful.

So I'm ready to let go a little bit. I'll have enough on my plate come November (and I'm not talkin' turkey and stuffing here people) that it will be nice to just go with the flow instead of trying to control everything.

Lessons in Motherhood- Why bubbles at the playground might not be a great idea

Yesterday was a beautiful day and I knew we were going to be outside for most of it. I remembered that my mom sent me a birthday package which included some bubbles for Blake. So I grabbed the bubbles on the way out and we walked up the street to the playground.

There were a few kids playing as I sat down and started blowing bubbles. Blake had a great time chasing the bubbles all over the playground. After about 30 seconds, 2 kids came over to chase the bubbles as well. A minute later 2 more kids came running over. Pretty soon I realized that my fun idea may have backfired for several reasons:

-Everyone wanted a turn blowing bubbles. I gave the first 2 kids that came over a turn. But after more started running over I said I would be handling the blowing of bubbles.

-"Can I have a turn?" was asked about 50 times. And when I said no, "But why?" was asked 50 times as well. And was ignored 49 times.

-"Hey! Blow some bubbles over here!" was shouted at me several times to which I finally said, "I can't control where they go."

-Eventually blowing bubbles for my 2 year old to play with turned into 7 children trying to pop the bubbles before they even left the wand. I don't let my own child smack at things dangerously close to my face so I certainly didn't enjoy that aspect of the bubbles.

After about 10 minutes of blowing bubbles I said I was going to put them away for a while. A few "Can I have a turn"s trailed off as the kids ran to find something else to occupy their playground time. Obviously I don't expect children to see bubbles at the playground and not play with them. In my naivete, I pictured a scene where I'd be sitting on a bench and children would be laughing and chasing the bubbles as they floated through the sky. I didn't anticipate the scene that actually unfolded.

Lesson learned: Bubbles are best used on our front steps. Blake enjoys chasing them and he doesn't go too far down the sidewalk because when the bubbles blow away he runs back to me looking for more.