Friday, June 27, 2008

manners shmanners

Most of the time I'm a pretty happy person. As noted below I'm not a particularly smiley person, but I am generally happy about my life. But on some occasions I tend to feel like this:
I mean, everybody has those days. Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about. Everybody gets that way. Yesterday happened to be one of those days described above by the picture. Take a seat and relax as I recount the event that led to my frustrations yesterday.

I like the summer season. It's beautiful outside. I can lay in the sun or play in the grass. Unfortunately I spend most of my days in an office...posting blogs. But I have learned that this is the life of the average adult. (Why did I want to grow up so quickly when I was younger?) So I usually enjoy my lunch break when I get to go outside and be in the sun for a little while. As I was coming back from lunch yesterday I decided to bring a few wedding gifts to wrap at work. I wasn't going to be doing much else, so two birds, one stone. I carried the gifts in a bag and the bag started to rip which forced me to carry the bag in my arms instead of holding it by the handles. On top of this I was carrying the wrapping paper and my purse. As I approached the building in which I work I started to think of the most efficient way for me to open the door and enter said building. Since my hands were occupied I figured I would have to set the gifts on the ground, open the door, grab the gifts, hold the door with my butt, and scoot into the building. I know you've all seen it done before.

But, as I got closer to the door I saw a guy in the building that was about to make his exit thus opening a door for me to walk through. We make eye contact and I think, "Oh yes! He sees me and notes my struggle in carrying these gifts. He'll hold the door for me." So I approached the door with every intention of pausing for the man, then having him hold the door for me and walking in with no problems. Unfortunately this man must have forgotten his manners that day. As I said, he made eye contact with me and yet he simply breezed through the door without so much as swinging the door wide open so that I could scurry through quickly. It was almost as if he squeezed through the door with just enough space to let himself through causing the door to close quickly behind him leaving me no chance of entry. I kind of stopped abruptly and wanted to say, "Hey thanks! You obviously saw me with my hands completely full. I'm walking like I am 9 months pregnant and yet you can't even take .25481 seconds to hold the door for me!" But of course I didn't. I just loudly struggled to open the door trying to make sure he heard me grunting. I wanted him to feel bad! So I balanced the gifts in one hand and opened the door just enough to stick my leg in so the door was propped open. Then I kicked it open and shuffled through trying not to let the door catch my heel. I made it in the building but with no help from no manners man.

When I told my husband about what happened he tried to convince me that the man was probably blind and did not see me. I quickly informed my husband that the man was not using a white cane so he probably wasn't blind. My husband then quipped, "Maybe he was using echolocation." I told him that's the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

to run or not to run...

In case you are like me and spend more time researching exercise tips rather than actually exercising you may find this article enlightening. As I trudged up the stairs to the weight room I tried to psych myself up for my routine mile run on the treadmill. (Yes only a mile. I'm trying to build up my stamina. I think I might actually have exercise-induced asthma. ( Anyway so I walk up to the treadmill and noticed that the little emergency magnet thing was gone meaning the treadmill would not work. To my slight dismay I noticed that only 1 of the 6 treadmills had the magnet thingy attached and was actually working bu was currently occupied. So I decided I'd have to use the elliptical machine. I always feel like I'm wasting my time on that machine because A) I feel like it only works my legs and doesn't get my heart rate up and B) I look like an idiot when I'm on it. To me it doesn't really simulate running. It simulates me looking like an idiot. Alas I climbed aboard the elliptical and started idioting (I can't call it running. Maybe it's more like ellipticalling.) I worked up a pretty good sweat but didn't really feel out of breath.

I decided once and for all that I would find out if the treadmill was better than the elliptical motion machine. Check out this article for the down-low on treadmills and ellipticals.!&id=116198 (Personally I think the author is pro-elliptical making the article slightly biased. My research continues.)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

this is what I do at work

Aside from counting the number of birds that fly into the window, sometimes I will play games with Evan on msn messenger. What fun we have!

One game we particularly enjoy is Wheel...of...Fortune!!!!!! In this screen shot you can see Evan's player doing the "cabbage patch" because he just scored big! For those of you who do not know what the "cabbage patch" is, this definition may help: The cabbage patch dance is a dance involving putting the hands together and moving them in a horizontal circular motion. It was popularized by Dr. Dre and DJ Yella in 1987. The dance they made was featured in the song "The Cabbage Patch." It soon became very popular, showing up in almost every dance club in America. ( Evan has always been a fan of Dre.

The screen shot above shows my player winning the round (yes!) and "raising the roof". Although this move sounds self-explanatory, I will include a definition for those of you who wish to imitate this celebratory motion: a dancing motion where by the participant pushes both hands up in the air, as if performing a soulful military press with the hands open and facing up towards the ceiling. usually done in groups. (

I hope you've enjoyed this small glimpse into my professional life.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

this just in...

So I was checking my husband's email today (slow day at work) and saw that JetBlue gave us both $25 vouchers because of problems with the flight we were on coming back from CA. (the post below will go into great detail as to why this flight confirmed my detestation for flying) But hey, I'll fly JetBlue again knowing I have $25 towards a flight even if that means we have a little turbulence. The voucher is probably a result of a passenger complaining that the plane was an hour late and no one let us know what was going on. Looks like we'll be taking another trip soon! Where can we go for $50?

Monday, June 16, 2008

oh and did I mention I hate flying?

After my last trip back from VA, I decided flying in an airplane was at the bottom of my to-do list. This was probably because the crazy pilot decided it would be ok to drop from 25, 000 feet to 15, ooo feet in a matter of two seconds. For more on this story, scroll down. After much contemplation I decided that maybe I didn't like flying for more than two hours rather than not liking flying at all. I guess I imagined that the longer I am in the air the more time there is for something bad to happen. Like maybe four hours gives the engines just enough time to overheat and blow up sending little old Whitney plummeting to the ground as opposed to two hours where the engines stay nice and functioning.

Alas, I have confirmed that I do not like flying at all. I don't like waiting in the airport. I don't like rushing to line up when the plane is ready to board. I don't like sitting in a seat that is really designed for one butt cheek, not two. I don't like sitting by people I don't know. I don't like breathing airplane air. You would think that being so high up in the sky you would get some fresh air. No. You don't. I don't like the take off. It always feels like the butt of the plane is going to scrape the ground. I'm constantly thinking, "Get it up, get it up!" I certainly don't like having to yell my drink order at the flight attendant. Personally I try not to drink anything before and during a flight because there's no way I'm crawling over two people to use the tiniest bathroom known to man. But as of late I've felt nauseous while flying and need a little carbonation to settle the ol' tum tum. I don't like not being able to move at all. The whole seat reclining thing is a joke. You go from here, to here. (If you could see my hand it would be pointing straight up, then only slightly to the right but still basically up.) And don't get me started about the time my head was crushed when I tried to fall asleep on the tray table and the lady in front of me reclined her seat. I should have punched the back of her seat as hard as I could and said, "Oh by all means, take up the whole dang plane!" But probably the thing I hate most about flying is turbulence. If I were a pilot I would avoid turbulence at all cost. I would fly around turbulence. Actually if I were a pilot I would probably just keep the plane on the ground and drive to the destination. Do you know how big a plane is? Seriously. Who would stop us? I'm sure that pilots try to avoid turbulence as much as possible. But it seems like the last two flights I've been on have been turbulence bound. The last flight I was on got pretty bumpy towards the end. The flight was only an hour and a half long, but I felt like I was two minutes from death. The flight was ok because I got to watch TV (whoever decided to do the personal TV thing on JetBlue was a genius) so I wasn't really focusing on the big metal bird of death that I voluntarily boarded an hour ago. But of course the turbulence started. It wasn't just a few bumps. It was continuous bumping and dipping like you are driving on some back country dirt road that has potholes. At one point during the flight of death I could feel the wind pushing the plane. At this point I knew I was done. I just doubled over and put my head on Evan's lap. Of course he's cool as a freakin' cucumber. I bet if the plane was really spiralling out of control he'd still be saying, "It's ok. You're fine." while everyone else, including me, is screaming and trying to grab the oxygen masks from the ceiling. (by the way, are those oxygen masks real or are they just there to make you feel like you can still breathe?) Of course the lady next to me is looking at me like I'm crazy. I think she was a little nervous too. She actually took my seatbelt so when I sat down it was awkward having to act like I didn't notice that she had incorrectly buckled her seatbelt using my strap and try to dig under her for another flimsy strap of fabric that we all know isn't doing anything if that plane goes down. When I started to struggle to get the belt she said, "Oh, sorry. I don't know why it's like that." I wanted to say, "It's like that because you are sitting on your belt and grabbed mine by mistake. That's why it's like that. But we're all gonna die anyway. You might as well be strapped in for it." Anyway so we eventually land. I looked at Evan and told him I was never flying again. I don't care how far I have to drive, I'm not flying. But we all know that's not true.

Check out this website for turbulence info. I feel a little better about flying after reading some of the questions and answers. I still hate turbulence.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

smile update

So as I left work yesterday I decided I was going to smile all the way home. I wanted to see if my smile would inspire others to smile. I felt really stupid at first, but it helped to have my sunglasses on. I didn't have to make eye contact with anyone and if I did they wouldn't be able to see me. So as I walked to my car I passed only a few people. One guy drove by and looked at me as I stood at the crosswalk. He totally had the look of, "What's she smilin' at?" I know this look because I do it all the time when I see the no-reason smiles. Anyway, so I found it a bit difficult to continue to smile, but I kept on cheesin' it up the whole way home. While I was driving in the car and smiling simultaneously I saw a girl smile back at me. When I got home I honestly had the thought that I should smile for no reason on the way home more often. I felt like I had a happy little secret and other people wanted to know what it was. For as goofy as I think the no-reason smilers look, it actually made me feel happy to smile even though nothing had really happened for me to feel happier than I normally do. Anyway, so I encourage everyone (or the 3 people that read this blog) to try smiling for no reason one day for at least fifteen minutes. Let me know how it goes.

Monday, June 2, 2008

smiley mcsmileface

So it's really important for me to blog about something as soon as I think I have something blog-worthy. If I don't I will sit at the computer wondering if I should blog about it, if it's too stupid to blog about, if anyone will be able to relate, or if I should just delete the whole blog itself (which I predicted I would do within a week of creating the blog). Oh, side note: I think it's cute when couples and families have blogs so that their families can keep up with the happenings of their life. I tend to use the phone for that. (but apparently using your cell phone might cause cancer, so I guess blogging is the safer way to keep in touch. Gosh, what doesn't cause cancer these days?! One day the egg is good for you, the next day they're telling you if you so much as look at an egg your eyes will fall out and you'll be dead within seconds. I know, a little dramatic.)

Wow, long side note. So as I walked into work this morning, I saw a lady riding her bike and smiling. She wasn't smiling at any particular person...just smiling. I've seen these people before and I'm sure you know what I'm talking about: the people who just smile for no reason. I used to be slightly annoyed with these people. Whenever I would see their stupid no-reason smiles I would think, "What the heck are you smilin' at!? Am I missing something? Is there a giant ice cream cone in the sky that you happen to be looking at right now and I just can't see it?" I think I was mostly annoyed because it seemed so fake. And I will say that I have met some fake smiley people and maybe this is where the annoyance came from. Or maybe it's just that I'm not a naturally smiley person. I look really mad when I'm just walking places, or shopping for groceries, or driving. I usually have something on my mind like, "I think my thighs have always rubbed together. There has never been a time when they haven't touched." Ok, I'm not that shallow, but I have things on my mind. So as the smiley lady passed me on her bike I wondered what it would feel like to just smile for no reason. I'm going to try it on my way home today. I'm just gonna smile the whole way home and see if anyone looks at me like I'm deranged. Or maybe I should try to count the number of people who smile when they see me smile. I'll be wearing sunglasses so they won't be able to tell if I'm looking at them or not. That'll fake 'em out nicely because I'll be starin' 'em down and they won't even know it. All the while with a smile on my face.

Here's a link that gives the steps to developing your smile...seriously: