Friday, January 23, 2009

Dear person who refuses to use the dumpster,

While you probably do not read my blog, I feel it necessary to write to you. I know in times past the dumpster has gotten so full that the only option was to put your trash on the ground beside the dumpster. But, because I am amazing I took care of that problem so that the rest of the people that live here did not have to deal with mounds of trash strewn all over the parking area. And even though I was disgusted when I saw your bag of 40 dirty diapers laying in one of the mounds, I picked it up and put it in the overflowing dumpster; something you could have easily done yourself. How do I know that those dirty diapers were yours? Oh, well #1 I'm smart, and #2 I have a keen ability to deduce things. When I went out to the dumpster, the dumpster that was emptied yesterday, I saw something of yours sitting beside the dumpster.

It was one of those scooty things you put babies in so they can move around the floor. So because I am smart and because I have deductive reasoning skills I know that the same person that thought it was ok to leave multiple bags of dirty diapers on the ground would also think it was ok to leave more of their baby junk on the ground instead of putting it inside the dumpster where it belongs. Now, in your defense you may have been thinking that maybe it would take up too much space in the dumpster and that the garbage guys would get out of their truck and throw it in for you when they come to empty the dumpster next week. But really, that's not a good defence at all because never in the history of the dumpster being emptied have the garbage guys ever picked up the trash on the ground, as evidenced by the picture above. So how did all those mounds of trash disappear? My husband and I actually put all of the trash into the empty dumpster, not the garbage guys. And personally, I do not blame the garbage guys. I would not get out of my truck to pick up other people's dirty diapers.

So, I'm going to assume you are a rather lazy person and that you don't like to touch dumpsters. Well neither do I, but I picked up your bio hazardous bags filled with poop and pee and put them in the dumpster because a)I didn't want some small, innocent animal to get sick after rummaging through fecal matter and b)I get paid to make sure the complex looks nice. And in all honesty, before I got paid for doing this I probably wouldn't have picked up your trash. And, I probably would have been annoyed too that there was so much trash in the dumpster and considered leaving my crap on the ground. But that's the difference between you and me...I clean up after myself. Do you really think it is not your responsibility to properly dispose of YOUR trash? Well, here's a news flash: IT IS YOUR JOB TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR TRASH! And when I find out what apartment you live in I am going to take the trash you leave on the ground and place it on your doorstep with a note saying I will continue to return your trash until you learn to put it in the dumpster. And you won't know who I am because you don't read my blog.

In the meantime, I'll go put that stupid scooty thing in the dumpster because, well I get paid to do that.

Your friend,


Margaret said...

AMEN SISTAH! But Im gonna be honest right now...I take my dog Ozzie out to do his doody and pee pee. When he doodies I pick it up with my nifty dollar store sandwhich bag. Then I toss the bag o' poo in the dumpster. Once...ONCE I missed the dumpster and didnt go and pick it up. It was poop in a bag and cold outside. Two main things that I dont do much with. I appologize to the dumpster picker uppers of the world for any mishap I have caused them. BUT...Bless those that dont put desk chairs in the dumpster cause I GOT IT! Now we have a chair to go with our desk. I love being poor:)

Whitney said...

And if you had a baby I would have given you the scooty thing...except it was totally gutted.

Mike said...

I's me. I'm the one leaving the trash by the dumpster. And I don't feel bad, and yes I am lazy, but that's not why. It's purely out of spite. I actually dig through the dumpster to find people's dirty diapers so I can put them in a bag and leave it outside the dumpster for you. It's actually quite a bit of work, but you know? It seems worth it.

Whitney said...

You would do something like that, Mike. Jerk.

Mrs. S said...

ahhhhhhh i HATE when people dont pick up their crap (literally, ha ha)!