Sunday, January 25, 2009
My husband has a blog.
So I guess my blogging has rubbed off on Evan. Or he got so fed up with my lame-o blog that he decided to make his own to counteract mine. Either way, here's the address: http://ejbethphage.blogspot.com . Yes, you can be impressed.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Dear person who refuses to use the dumpster,
While you probably do not read my blog, I feel it necessary to write to you. I know in times past the dumpster has gotten so full that the only option was to put your trash on the ground beside the dumpster. But, because I am amazing I took care of that problem so that the rest of the people that live here did not have to deal with mounds of trash strewn all over the parking area. And even though I was disgusted when I saw your bag of 40 dirty diapers laying in one of the mounds, I picked it up and put it in the overflowing dumpster; something you could have easily done yourself. How do I know that those dirty diapers were yours? Oh, well #1 I'm smart, and #2 I have a keen ability to deduce things. When I went out to the dumpster, the dumpster that was emptied yesterday, I saw something of yours sitting beside the dumpster.
It was one of those scooty things you put babies in so they can move around the floor. So because I am smart and because I have deductive reasoning skills I know that the same person that thought it was ok to leave multiple bags of dirty diapers on the ground would also think it was ok to leave more of their baby junk on the ground instead of putting it inside the dumpster where it belongs. Now, in your defense you may have been thinking that maybe it would take up too much space in the dumpster and that the garbage guys would get out of their truck and throw it in for you when they come to empty the dumpster next week. But really, that's not a good defence at all because never in the history of the dumpster being emptied have the garbage guys ever picked up the trash on the ground, as evidenced by the picture above. So how did all those mounds of trash disappear? My husband and I actually put all of the trash into the empty dumpster, not the garbage guys. And personally, I do not blame the garbage guys. I would not get out of my truck to pick up other people's dirty diapers.
So, I'm going to assume you are a rather lazy person and that you don't like to touch dumpsters. Well neither do I, but I picked up your bio hazardous bags filled with poop and pee and put them in the dumpster because a)I didn't want some small, innocent animal to get sick after rummaging through fecal matter and b)I get paid to make sure the complex looks nice. And in all honesty, before I got paid for doing this I probably wouldn't have picked up your trash. And, I probably would have been annoyed too that there was so much trash in the dumpster and considered leaving my crap on the ground. But that's the difference between you and me...I clean up after myself. Do you really think it is not your responsibility to properly dispose of YOUR trash? Well, here's a news flash: IT IS YOUR JOB TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR TRASH! And when I find out what apartment you live in I am going to take the trash you leave on the ground and place it on your doorstep with a note saying I will continue to return your trash until you learn to put it in the dumpster. And you won't know who I am because you don't read my blog.
In the meantime, I'll go put that stupid scooty thing in the dumpster because, well I get paid to do that.
Your friend,
Annoyed
It was one of those scooty things you put babies in so they can move around the floor. So because I am smart and because I have deductive reasoning skills I know that the same person that thought it was ok to leave multiple bags of dirty diapers on the ground would also think it was ok to leave more of their baby junk on the ground instead of putting it inside the dumpster where it belongs. Now, in your defense you may have been thinking that maybe it would take up too much space in the dumpster and that the garbage guys would get out of their truck and throw it in for you when they come to empty the dumpster next week. But really, that's not a good defence at all because never in the history of the dumpster being emptied have the garbage guys ever picked up the trash on the ground, as evidenced by the picture above. So how did all those mounds of trash disappear? My husband and I actually put all of the trash into the empty dumpster, not the garbage guys. And personally, I do not blame the garbage guys. I would not get out of my truck to pick up other people's dirty diapers.
So, I'm going to assume you are a rather lazy person and that you don't like to touch dumpsters. Well neither do I, but I picked up your bio hazardous bags filled with poop and pee and put them in the dumpster because a)I didn't want some small, innocent animal to get sick after rummaging through fecal matter and b)I get paid to make sure the complex looks nice. And in all honesty, before I got paid for doing this I probably wouldn't have picked up your trash. And, I probably would have been annoyed too that there was so much trash in the dumpster and considered leaving my crap on the ground. But that's the difference between you and me...I clean up after myself. Do you really think it is not your responsibility to properly dispose of YOUR trash? Well, here's a news flash: IT IS YOUR JOB TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR TRASH! And when I find out what apartment you live in I am going to take the trash you leave on the ground and place it on your doorstep with a note saying I will continue to return your trash until you learn to put it in the dumpster. And you won't know who I am because you don't read my blog.
In the meantime, I'll go put that stupid scooty thing in the dumpster because, well I get paid to do that.
Your friend,
Annoyed
Thursday, January 15, 2009
and this is why I'll never fly again...
http://news.aol.com/article/plane-goes-down-in-frigid-nyc-river/308358
The only thing birds have ever done to me is poop on my car...until now. After reading about what happened today in New York City, I have decided I would rather not fly the friendly skies. Why you ask? Well, you must not have read the article. So, I will sum it up in a few words: BIRDS took down this plane! BIRDS!
This isn't a picture of the plane that crashed today. This is another plane that had a run-in with some dastardly birds. This flock actually took out one of this plane's engines.
photo pulled from:
http://www.airliners.net/aviation-photos/photos/4/5/8/0620854.jpg
So bravo to the pilot that safely landed this plane as well as the plane that crash landed in the Hudson River today. And bravo to me for ever deciding to fly on a plane. Well, not anymore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtSlX7L0KB0
Bird strike...
The only thing birds have ever done to me is poop on my car...until now. After reading about what happened today in New York City, I have decided I would rather not fly the friendly skies. Why you ask? Well, you must not have read the article. So, I will sum it up in a few words: BIRDS took down this plane! BIRDS!
photo pulled from:
http://www.airliners.net/aviation-photos/photos/4/5/8/0620854.jpg
So bravo to the pilot that safely landed this plane as well as the plane that crash landed in the Hudson River today. And bravo to me for ever deciding to fly on a plane. Well, not anymore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtSlX7L0KB0
Bird strike...
Friday, January 9, 2009
Sir Stinks-a-lot and the "I hate you!" kid
It's no secret that I detest flying in an airplane (as opposed to flapping my own wings and flying). The only good part about flying is that it gets you places faster than driving does.
Evan and I spent Christmas in Virginia with my family this year. Of course that meant a 4 hour flight to VA and a 5 hour flight back. The flight to VA wasn't too bad. In fact, I don't really remember much about it. I tried to sleep the entire time. But, the flight back was fraught with turbulence (the thing I hate most about flying...save crashing.) The turbulence got so bad that the pilot came over the speaker and told the flight attendants to take their seats. That's never happened on one of my flights before! Usually you can tell things are ok because the flight attendants are still getting up and bringing people stuff. Nope. Not on this flight. Not on the flight of death.
At one point a flight attendant even scolded a person over the speaker for getting out of their seat! I believe her exact words were, "Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. He has even told the flight attendants to take their seats! And we are the ones who are trained to handle everything that could go wrong on a plane! Everyone should be seated with their seat belt fastened because we are scared out of our minds at what might happen. Do you feel the turbulence?! The wind is so strong it is blowing the plane from side to side! I hope I am freaking you out because I'm freaking out back here! Let me off this plane! Let me off....(muffled sounds, screams)" "I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen for that disruption. Everything is fine. Just take your seats."
Of course at this point I laid my head on my tray table as to hide the fear that was so obviously painted on my face. Evan, as usual, was fine. At each bump I gripped the tray table so hard that I thought I was going to break it. So after an hour of turbulence the ride started to smooth out a bit. Evan and I started to play some games and that distracted me for a while.
That is until I heard a kid one row back yell, "I hate you!" at his mom. Well actually he said, "Why can't I get up?! I want to get up! Everything was fine until you came back here! I hate you!" I told Evan that if I was a flight attendant and heard the little boy yell at his mom I would have said, "Oh do you know what we do with rude little boys? We flush them down the toilet and they fly out the back of the plane? Now, you wouldn't want to be flushed would you? Then stop yelling at your mom!" But because I do not currently have the authority of a flight attendant, I could not say this. So the "I hate you!" kid continued to be rude and rather loud the entire flight. So loud that Sir Stinks-a-lot who was sitting in the row across from us decided to give the "I hate you!" kid a piece of his mind. "I hate you!" kid had gotten up and walked down the aisle. When he came back, he stopped beside Sir Stinks-a-lot and rather loudly said to his mom, "Did he tell you what I said?" Sir Stinks-a-lot was resting so the boy's loud and irritating voice startled him. Sir Stinks-a-lot, in all his stinky glory, said, "I'm going to tell you what I'm going to say in a minute!" "I hate you!" kid was startled and quickly returned to his seat and was never heard from again.
Although Sir Stinks-a-lot did have a bad case of body odor (and let's be honest, who on occasion hasn't?) he did get "I hate you!" kid to settle down.
So the end of the flight was drawing near and all I could think about was how much I wanted to get off the plane and use the bathroom. I kept thinking about how something inside me was going to burst if I didn't get to use the bathroom soon. I tried to convince myself to use the bathroom on the plane, but I kept looking at the people going in and thinking, "I really don't want to go in there after that guy!" I was thankful that I didn't use the bathroom on the plane after we landed because the flight attendant announced that they were having people come in to "service" the restrooms. I don't even want to know how gross they were.
Thus we landed, but of course not without almost slipping off the runway due to the icy conditions in Salt Lake. I found a bathroom with the paper toilet seat covers and was content. That is until we went to claim our luggage and noticed they had 7 flights on one carousel. Why do they do that!?
Evan and I spent Christmas in Virginia with my family this year. Of course that meant a 4 hour flight to VA and a 5 hour flight back. The flight to VA wasn't too bad. In fact, I don't really remember much about it. I tried to sleep the entire time. But, the flight back was fraught with turbulence (the thing I hate most about flying...save crashing.) The turbulence got so bad that the pilot came over the speaker and told the flight attendants to take their seats. That's never happened on one of my flights before! Usually you can tell things are ok because the flight attendants are still getting up and bringing people stuff. Nope. Not on this flight. Not on the flight of death.
At one point a flight attendant even scolded a person over the speaker for getting out of their seat! I believe her exact words were, "Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. He has even told the flight attendants to take their seats! And we are the ones who are trained to handle everything that could go wrong on a plane! Everyone should be seated with their seat belt fastened because we are scared out of our minds at what might happen. Do you feel the turbulence?! The wind is so strong it is blowing the plane from side to side! I hope I am freaking you out because I'm freaking out back here! Let me off this plane! Let me off....(muffled sounds, screams)" "I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen for that disruption. Everything is fine. Just take your seats."
Of course at this point I laid my head on my tray table as to hide the fear that was so obviously painted on my face. Evan, as usual, was fine. At each bump I gripped the tray table so hard that I thought I was going to break it. So after an hour of turbulence the ride started to smooth out a bit. Evan and I started to play some games and that distracted me for a while.
That is until I heard a kid one row back yell, "I hate you!" at his mom. Well actually he said, "Why can't I get up?! I want to get up! Everything was fine until you came back here! I hate you!" I told Evan that if I was a flight attendant and heard the little boy yell at his mom I would have said, "Oh do you know what we do with rude little boys? We flush them down the toilet and they fly out the back of the plane? Now, you wouldn't want to be flushed would you? Then stop yelling at your mom!" But because I do not currently have the authority of a flight attendant, I could not say this. So the "I hate you!" kid continued to be rude and rather loud the entire flight. So loud that Sir Stinks-a-lot who was sitting in the row across from us decided to give the "I hate you!" kid a piece of his mind. "I hate you!" kid had gotten up and walked down the aisle. When he came back, he stopped beside Sir Stinks-a-lot and rather loudly said to his mom, "Did he tell you what I said?" Sir Stinks-a-lot was resting so the boy's loud and irritating voice startled him. Sir Stinks-a-lot, in all his stinky glory, said, "I'm going to tell you what I'm going to say in a minute!" "I hate you!" kid was startled and quickly returned to his seat and was never heard from again.
Although Sir Stinks-a-lot did have a bad case of body odor (and let's be honest, who on occasion hasn't?) he did get "I hate you!" kid to settle down.
So the end of the flight was drawing near and all I could think about was how much I wanted to get off the plane and use the bathroom. I kept thinking about how something inside me was going to burst if I didn't get to use the bathroom soon. I tried to convince myself to use the bathroom on the plane, but I kept looking at the people going in and thinking, "I really don't want to go in there after that guy!" I was thankful that I didn't use the bathroom on the plane after we landed because the flight attendant announced that they were having people come in to "service" the restrooms. I don't even want to know how gross they were.
Thus we landed, but of course not without almost slipping off the runway due to the icy conditions in Salt Lake. I found a bathroom with the paper toilet seat covers and was content. That is until we went to claim our luggage and noticed they had 7 flights on one carousel. Why do they do that!?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Overdue
I started this blog because I was bored. The past six months of my life were insanely busy so I no longer needed a blog to fill my time. I had papers to grade, a teacher work sample to stress about, and many library trips to make. But, I find myself decreasingly busy so it's time to blog again.
I recently finished my student teaching and graduated from BYU with a BS in Elementary Education. Yea! Well, it was yea for a week or two. Then I realized that as much as I really wanted to be done with college, the grass wasn't any more green on the other side (the other side being a college graduate with no job.) I knew that I'd have a lot of down time, but I didn't think I would start disliking being able to wake up at 10 am if I wanted to and doing the occasional load of laundry. I started to realize that I really did like being busy and couldn't help but think about all the fun times I had with my students. Like the time one of my fourth graders asked, "What does claustrophobic mean?" Before I could answer another student chimed in with, "It means you're afraid of Santa Claus." Well, why wouldn't it mean you are afraid of Santa Claus? It has his name in it! Or on the first day of school one student yelled out, "Five more minutes!" five minutes before the bell was going to ring. One of my favorite memories is when a second grade girl was relating the kids in our class to the kids in a book we were reading. She said, "I just wish we didn't have so many people in our class that like to break the rules! I mean, I know we have a lot of Mexican people in our class. But I'm not Mexican. I'm Mormon." I tried to contain my laughter and explain to her that a person could be Mexican and Mormon. She was pretty surprised at this new knowledge. As I look back I realize that the students I was able to work with over the course of fourteen weeks really shaped my student teaching experience. I will really miss them. Especially the five more minutes kid. He is awesome.
So now that I have a degree and a teaching license (which is supposed to be emailed to me any day now...weird, huh?) I'm supposed to be set, right? Well, not really. Evan is applying for jobs so we are playing that one game where you wait to see who will give you a job and some money. Don't worry, it's not as fun as it sounds. In the meantime I've been substitute teaching (a grand total of 3 times) and thinking about what other jobs I can get to contribute monetarily to our small, but still-need-to-eat family. So far, I've got nothing. Well, I still have the maintenance job at our apartment complex. Today I earned a whole $10 for trimming some bushes and shoveling snow for an hour. Don't get me wrong, I'll take the $10. I guess what I'm trying to say is being in limbo is not nearly as fun as doing the limbo. Evan and I are ready to move on with our lives and start careers and a family. But then again, I do have the grass is greener syndrome so ultimately I have to learn to love where I am in life now. That can be hard when you don't have a consistent paycheck and are in the middle of another nuclear Utah winter. (I like snow...when I'm looking at it from a cozy couch as I sip on hot chocolate.) So, I guess now is the time for me to catch up on a few things I've failed to keep up with: sleep, journal writing, letter writing, sleep, wedding picture stuff, cleaning, and more sleep. So maybe instead of looking at it like from the bump on a log perspective, I'll start looking at it more like, "When in my life will I have less to do than right now?" That's more like it!
Oh and if you are wondering just how one does the limbo, check out http://www.wikihow.com/Do-Well-at-the-Limbo .
I recently finished my student teaching and graduated from BYU with a BS in Elementary Education. Yea! Well, it was yea for a week or two. Then I realized that as much as I really wanted to be done with college, the grass wasn't any more green on the other side (the other side being a college graduate with no job.) I knew that I'd have a lot of down time, but I didn't think I would start disliking being able to wake up at 10 am if I wanted to and doing the occasional load of laundry. I started to realize that I really did like being busy and couldn't help but think about all the fun times I had with my students. Like the time one of my fourth graders asked, "What does claustrophobic mean?" Before I could answer another student chimed in with, "It means you're afraid of Santa Claus." Well, why wouldn't it mean you are afraid of Santa Claus? It has his name in it! Or on the first day of school one student yelled out, "Five more minutes!" five minutes before the bell was going to ring. One of my favorite memories is when a second grade girl was relating the kids in our class to the kids in a book we were reading. She said, "I just wish we didn't have so many people in our class that like to break the rules! I mean, I know we have a lot of Mexican people in our class. But I'm not Mexican. I'm Mormon." I tried to contain my laughter and explain to her that a person could be Mexican and Mormon. She was pretty surprised at this new knowledge. As I look back I realize that the students I was able to work with over the course of fourteen weeks really shaped my student teaching experience. I will really miss them. Especially the five more minutes kid. He is awesome.
So now that I have a degree and a teaching license (which is supposed to be emailed to me any day now...weird, huh?) I'm supposed to be set, right? Well, not really. Evan is applying for jobs so we are playing that one game where you wait to see who will give you a job and some money. Don't worry, it's not as fun as it sounds. In the meantime I've been substitute teaching (a grand total of 3 times) and thinking about what other jobs I can get to contribute monetarily to our small, but still-need-to-eat family. So far, I've got nothing. Well, I still have the maintenance job at our apartment complex. Today I earned a whole $10 for trimming some bushes and shoveling snow for an hour. Don't get me wrong, I'll take the $10. I guess what I'm trying to say is being in limbo is not nearly as fun as doing the limbo. Evan and I are ready to move on with our lives and start careers and a family. But then again, I do have the grass is greener syndrome so ultimately I have to learn to love where I am in life now. That can be hard when you don't have a consistent paycheck and are in the middle of another nuclear Utah winter. (I like snow...when I'm looking at it from a cozy couch as I sip on hot chocolate.) So, I guess now is the time for me to catch up on a few things I've failed to keep up with: sleep, journal writing, letter writing, sleep, wedding picture stuff, cleaning, and more sleep. So maybe instead of looking at it like from the bump on a log perspective, I'll start looking at it more like, "When in my life will I have less to do than right now?" That's more like it!
Oh and if you are wondering just how one does the limbo, check out http://www.wikihow.com/Do-Well-at-the-Limbo .
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