Friday, July 6, 2012

new momma

Recently I've been reflecting on the days when I was a brand new mom with a brand new baby...and how much I thought I knew but didn't. I thought about when my mom came to help me after Evan started his job in New York and how she never really offered any advice unless I asked for it. She let me be in charge of how I wanted her to take care of Blake while I was napping or at work. And I wonder if inside she just smiled to herself thinking, "One day she'll look back on this and laugh at how ridiculous she's being."

Because I was ridiculous.

I was telling my mom how to take care of an infant when she had raised 4 wonderful (wink) children. I mean, I wasn't telling her every single thing to do. But I balked when she wanted to give Blake a little bit of water.

"No, Mom. You were there when the doctor said he gets plenty of water with his formula. He doesn't need any water!"

Or when she had the TV on at night while she fed him.

"I'd rather the TV not be on at night if you're up feeding him."

Or if she wanted to grab a bite to eat or run to the store while I was at work.

"I don't really want him riding in the car that much."


With baby #2, I feel like I'm going to be less uptight. Water? Sure, give him (or her) a little sip. TV on while the baby's awake? Meh, why not. Car ride? Let's take a trip across the country!

My mom was a good sport. She allowed me to come into my own as a mother. Instead of stepping in and telling me how to take care of Blake, she let me take the lead, even if I was a little ridiculous and even if it wasn't how she would necessarily do things. I often forget with both my mother and mother-in-law that they have experience. They were in the trenches just like I am changing diapers, cleaning up after little ones, and trying to teach them how to be kind and respectful.

So I'm ready to let go a little bit. I'll have enough on my plate come November (and I'm not talkin' turkey and stuffing here people) that it will be nice to just go with the flow instead of trying to control everything.


Lindsay said...

There's nothing like the daunting task of adding another child to your family to make you loosen up and let go of some of the control. I'm convinced it's a survival mechanism for people like me who like things to happen a certain way.

rach said...

oh wow I have absolutely no clue anything about babies! im still learning about being pregnant and figuring out what stuff i need to buy first! Babies can drink water?!? Here's a babies need pillows? gah! there is so much I don't overwhelming...I need mom 101 lessons!

Whitney said...

For the first few months all babies need is milk (from mom or formula). You don't really need to give them water. As far as pillows, no, babies do not need pillows. In fact, in the states there are new recommendations that crib bumpers (the soft, pillow like things that go around the inside of the crib just above the mattress) aren't necessary and can be potentially suffocating. I don't have any recommendations for new mom books, but I did get a lot of stuff when I was in the hospital. Although once the baby is here you probably won't feel much like reading. Oh, I did like the book The Baby Whisperer, although I didn't actually finish it. It talks a lot about introducing the baby into your life instead of switching everything around for the baby. Some advice was useful and some other things I didn't really like.

Lindsay said...

"Baby 411" is a great book and as close to a parenting manual as I've ever seen (which I suppose isn't saying much, but it's still been helpful even with baby #3).

Claudia said...

Whitty-you make me feel like a million bucks! There is always a learning curve with a new baby, whether it's your first or.....tenth!!! Now, as I care for your 89 year old grandmother, I am having to learn new lessons too....especially about patience! You are one of the best moms I know. Hey, did you know if you Google "bliggitybloggityboo", that your blog made it on the first page? From the little I know about search engines, that's quite an achievement! You go smart girl!Sure love YOU! <3, Yo Mama :)

Tori Wilding said...

Remember when Mom gave Blake some water and he started to choke and I yelled out, "IS HE BREATHING!!??!?!?!!" hahaaha!! I'm crazy. It's funny how now that I take care of infants all day, I think I'll be a pretty laid back first time mother when the time comes. Well....we'll see! :)

Emily said...

I hope it's been enough time since this post that I can safely laugh out loud at the baby pillow comment. hahahahahahaha. Bless her heart. Anyway, this is a great post. great attitude. we were all frenetic first-time moms.