Friday, July 11, 2008


Have you ever been walking down a flight of stairs and all of the sudden your brain forgets to tell your legs how to move and you end up eating it for the whole world to see? No? Well yesterday I was quickly making my way down some stairs and apparently forgot how to maneuver them while I was maneuvering them! I can't actually explain what happened. I didn't trip or step on half of the step and fall forward. I was walking and then all of the sudden didn't know what to do with my right foot. It's like I fell asleep for a split second, forgot I was walking down stairs, then woke up, realized where I was, but didn't have enough time to tell my brain to tell my legs to move. So I totally ate it on the stairs. It was hilarious; one of those events where you wish you were walking with a friend because you would have just died laughing. I, on the other hand, pretended my phone was ringing (it was on silent) and started talking on it so I wouldn't feel so stupid as I passed the people that had just seen me fall. But after I passed those people I felt stupid for talking to my phone. So I just "hung up" and started laughing.

Although I wish this had been the most hilarious thing that happened to me yesterday, it was not. Anyone that knows me understands that I am slightly paranoid about certain things. I have to make sure the door is locked at least 2 times before going to bed. I check, recheck, and touch the burners on the stove to make sure they are off. I text my husband every other morning after I leave and ask him to make sure I turned off my straightener. I know I turned it off...but that little voice inside keeps saying, "What if you didn't? What if you come home and the whole apartment complex is a pile of ashes because of your careless ways?" Thus the text.

The list above of the things I am slightly obsessive about does not end there. I often wonder before using the bathroom what I would do if there happened to be a spider hiding under the toilet seat. Sometimes I lift the toilet seat to check, but most of the time I have to go so bad I don't care. So "fear of spider under toilet seat" isn't high on the paranoia list, although it is there. Well, lucky for me, Paranoid Polly, fear confirmed. Last night I was doing my "biznass" in the bathroom and went to flush the toilet. What to my wondering eyes did appear? Something that looked like a spider, I feared! Carefully hanging under the toilet seat, but just far enough out that I could see it was what I thought was a granddaddy long leg. Surprisingly I didn't scream. I grabbed some toilet paper and disposed of the creature. It actually turned out to be a mosquito hawk which isn't really any better simply because it was an insect that was close to a part of my body that no insect should ever come within 100 feet of. So yes, insects can and do hide under toilet seats. Just let the paranoia set in. You'll get used to it.

This is what was camping out under the toilet seat. Ok it wasn't this big, but still gross. Through writing this post I've actually learned a lot about mosquito hawks:
1) They aren't called mosquito hawks.
2)Their proper name is crane fly.
3) They do not eat mosquitoes.
4) The adults either don't eat or feed on roots.
5) I still don't want them near my butt.

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