fRuStRaTiOnS!

Right now there are lots of other things I need to be doing (exercising, making dinner, planning sharing time, planning my lesson) but one of the reasons I have a blog is to vent when I'm frustrated, whether anyone reads about it or not. And right now I am frustrated to the max.

This is how I usually look while at my computer...ask Evan.

I am frustrated that my husband, a very qualified, hard working college graduate cannot seem to find a job. I am frustrated that after many late nights, exhaustion-induced tears, lesson plans, great evaluations and references, and good interviews I have not been offered a teaching job. I know, I know, you're probably saying "join the club, lady!" As I receive email after email telling me that "the position has been filled, but please feel free to apply for other openings as they become available" I want to scream. I can't figure out why I'm not good enough. I can't figure out why after doing what I thought I was supposed to do I may not get a chance to practice what I've learned. Life has no guarantees, you say? Well you are 110% correct. But as much as I keep thinking "I just wish someone would give me a chance" I know I'm not the only person in the world dealing with this situation. Take, for example, the young man who came to my door just a few moments ago. He was trying to convince my husband to buy a $40 bottle of "miracle" cleaner. He seemed pretty down and out as he kept repeating that he only had 2 bottles left and really needed to sell them. Usually door-to-door salespeople bother me, but as I listened to Anthony relentlessly pitching this product to my husband I couldn't help but think, "Wow, you are in the exact same boat as I am. We both just want someone to give us a chance. We both keep getting turned down even though we are trying to be honest, hard workers." Do I think his $40 miracle cleaner works? No. Has he ever used it? Probably not. But I couldn't help but be frustrated as my husband had to turn him away. I would have done the same thing as Evan. We can't afford to be laying down $40 for cleaning fluid. And I'm sure Anthony, who has probably been out all day being turned down at every door, doesn't want to hear that we understand his problems as we sit in our air conditioned apartment. I don't know where Anthony lives, but it was just another reminder of how unfair life can be. Well I guess in the temporal sense life is usually unfair. And since I cannot currently remember my existence before this life, I sometimes have a hard time accepting the dichotomy of this temporal estate. But I've been taught and believe that in an eternal sense it is 100% fair. And that we will be blessed for the faith and good works we demonstrate on this earth. So as for right now I'll keep applying for jobs and hoping that someone will see that I am worth hiring. And if no one sees that worth then I'll pick something else to do and be just as happy. I hope Anthony keeps trying really hard too. One day when I have $40 to spend on cleaner I will gladly buy it from him.