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Friday, February 4, 2011

woe is me

I always heard a lot of things about motherhood before I was actually a mother:

-It's the hardest thing you'll ever do.

-It's the most rewarding thing you'll ever do.

-It's exhausting. It's whatever 1 million times exhausting is.

-You don't know what love is until you hold your baby for the first time.

-Your life will change in ways you never imagined.

And on, and on, and on. But, I don't think in all the descriptions of motherhood I have heard over the years anyone ever told me that it was a lonely job. And honestly, I don't think I would have believed someone if they told me it was. It doesn't really make sense. How can you be with another human 24/7 and be lonely? See, that doesn't make sense.

Maybe it's the winter, maybe it's living in a new place (I know, I've been here 7 months-ish, so it's not soooo new.), maybe it's just me and no other mothers out there are lonely. I don't know but frankly I'm tired of it. Not motherhood. Just the loneliness that's associated with it.

Ya, ya, I know, life could be a lot more difficult for me. I'm grateful for the things I do have. I just don't know how to not feel lonely sometimes.

Actually, I do. Service. It's usually the answer to most of my "woe is me" problems.

So, service it is.

5 comments:

Chelsea said...

You can start by sending me some cookies. Something real chocolatey would do. But I hear ya on the lonely thing. You get so bored too. I've been waiting all morning for this kid to fall asleep so I can have some "me" time (whatever that is) and I'm still so bored/lonely. Cant win sometimes.

Losing Brownies said...

I agree, motherhood is very lonely. Hang in there!

Nina @ Momma Go Round said...

You are so not alone with the loneliness thing. I have two girlfriends who I see often, but often is like once a week or every other week. I'm guessing Evan works about as much as Brian does....all the time. It gets so hard to be without adult interaction for so long. I'm always here if you just need to talk. Heck, I could probably use it too!

Emily said...

I think living in BKLYN doesn't help. My mom is still friends with the other young moms who lived next door or around the corner when we were babies. All in the same ward, of course. We should all live in the same big apartment building. And that apartment building should have a great, big, baby-proofed commons room. And a washer/dryer and dishwasher in each apartment. And an elevator. Oh wait, I'm describing where RICH ppl in Brooklyn live. My bad.

Greta: From Transparencies of Motherhood said...

Ugh...I so agree (and I work out of the home!)
http://transparenciesofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2010/10/transparent-moment-mommy-needs-friends.html