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Monday, March 28, 2011

l-o-v-e

The first time I was sure that I loved Blake was 2 weeks after he was born. That probably sounds weird. You might be thinking, "What? You didn't instantly fall in love with him as soon as you saw him?" Yes, I did love Blake as soon as I got to see him. I loved Blake while he was still in utero! But, while having a baby can be a wonderful experience, there were times after I came home from the hospital that I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I remember holding a screaming Blake one night and thinking, "I've made a mistake. I thought I was cut out for motherhood, but clearly I am NOT!"

While still reeling from an emergency c-section and learning how to cope with a husband who was working in a city a couple thousand miles away, I took Blake for his 2-week check up. (With much needed assistance from my mother. Blake freaked out when I put him in his car seat and I was in tears, ready to call and reschedule the appointment. I.was.a.mess.) I digress.

At Blake's 2-week check up he had to have his heel pricked. As soon as the nurse pricked his heel, the loudest, most helpless cry erupted from his tiny 2-week old body. And I felt it. I felt his pain and had to fight back tears. It was then that I was 100% sure I loved Blake and that this motherly love was here to stay.

At each doctor visit when Blake has to get an immunization, or his blood drawn like today (shudder), I feel it again. I feel the urge to hold back tears as my little baby cries out. I know the shots are for his own good. And there will be other things that cause him pain in his life, whether they come from shots or from other sources. And I'll be there to comfort him every time. Because I love him.

"Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?"

In case you were wondering, Blake is 22 lbs and 30 inches of pure adorableness.

5 comments:

Losing Brownies said...

Those heal pricks are just awful.

I had to have an emergancy c-section too. It was awful and the recovery time was horrible. I'm so glad that I had family around to help.

Lindsay said...

And even after this immunization record is complete, reasons will still crop up where you will feel his pain and frustration and wish you could take it away. Such is motherhood, I guess. Great post, Whitney.

vdg family said...

So dear! The picture and caption are hilarious!

WhisperingWriter said...

What a sweet post.

Love the photo.

Tori Wilding said...

bahaha I love the picture caption! That one time when Blake was crying really hard in his pack-n-play and I reached in to get his bink and he grabbed onto my shirt like, "Get me outta here! Help!! I don't want to go to bed!!!!". I had to walk away and I think I started crying! He's just so precious and we're really excited to see you two in a few days!!!