Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I don't like flying, mostly because boarding a big metal bird o' death isn't at the top of my to-do list. But, I'd like to spend Christmas with my family and since driving there really isn't an option, I have to fly. I guess if I had a true fear of flying I'd just drive...or never go anywhere that was far enough to fly to. Look, I just don't like flying, ok!

Sorry, flying makes me nervous and now that the airports I'll be flying through have the new "this is what you look like with no clothes on" scanners*, I'm even more nervous. I've flown with Blake a lot and have a routine when it comes to making it through security. But that routine allowed me to carry Blake through the metal detector. With these new "hey she's got cottage cheese thighs" scanners*, I don't think I'll be able to hold Blake. Whenever I see people going through them they have their hands above their heads. Ummm, I have a baby and he currently doesn't possess the ability to hover in mid air so does that mean I'll have to go through the pat-down procedures? Honestly, I don't think I really care if someone looks at a black and white image of my love handles and other lady bits on a computer screen in a secure room. But, I do care if someone has to do a groin check on me, even if it's a lady.

On a recent trip I had to have a full body pat-down because something in my diaper bag... looked suspicious? The question mark is because no one told me why they were patting me down and rifling through my stuff. So a lady gave me the standard pat-down. But that was a few months ago and I think the new "standard" pat-down involves a lot more patting. So I'm thinking the hubs is going to have to take one of the team this time and get the pat-down (if necessary) because I'm flying back by myself with Blake so I know I'll probably be getting one that time around. I shouldn't have to be violated twice at Christmastime, should I?

So if you've flown with an infant and had to go through the new "Dang! Baby got back!" scanners*, let me know how it worked. Did you have to get a pat-down?

*I'm referring to the new full body scanners at airports that a lot of people consider an invasion of privacy. Check out the images they produce here.**

**I think they chose 2 really physically fit people for those images because I know my images aren't gonna look like that!


Chelsea said...

They didn't even ask me to go through the nakey machine, they just made me take off my hoodie, and walk through the normal metal detector holding Kyler out a little bit in front of me. They patted down my sister since she didn't want to go through the nakey machine, but it's not like the were giving her a pap smear! It was just more annoying than anything. I don't think they gave me a hard time because I was flying without Rhet and I think they could tell I was a bit overwhelmed (maybe the swollen red eyes did it since I was crying a few minutes before...major separation anxiety over here!) They just put his milk through a little machine to test it for explosives or what not, but luckily it wasn't too big a deal.

Lindsay said...

I haven't had to walk through those scanners yet (which, speaking of, how are those even constitutionally sound?), but I'm not looking forward to it. Getting through security with children is hassle enough as it is. I hope it goes smoothly for you. You'll have to let us know how goes.

Losing Brownies said...

We leave tomorrow and I'm scared to death!! Also, please bestowe apon me your knowledge of flying with an infant! What can/can't I bring in his diaper bag? What do you suggest? The flight is about 4 1/2 hours. I'm terrified!

Tori Wilding said...

I love all the synonyms you used for the scanner machine!! I also take comfort in the fact that almost 90% of all TSA workers I've seen working in security are overweight. They'll see my scan and think, "Yep! That's my problem area too, girl!!"

Whitney said...

Good point about the TSA workers. Do you remember Jerry Seinfelds bit about airport security people? Hilarious!

Emily said...

Ugh. I think those new scanners and the "enhanced" pat downs are a huge step BACKWARD for democracy and freedom and the American Way. Seriously, they p*** me off. But good luck!