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Monday, June 20, 2011

Dear (fill-in-the-blank),

Dear lady who is visiting the people who live above us,

I'm used to being around cigarette smoke because apparently it's the thing to do if you live here. Personally I think it's disgusting and I hate that I have to smell it everywhere I go, even sometimes in my apartment. I saw you sitting on the front porch this morning puffing away. And even though it boggles my mind that people smoke, it's your choice to do so if you desire. But please don't flick your ashes on the porch. My baby plays there and will inevitably be eating those ashes. Go flick them somewhere else.

Sincerely,
trying to breathe clean air


Dear dog owners,

Clean up your dog's poop. If you didn't want to be bending down and picking up your dog's mess then you shouldn't have gotten a dog.

Sincerely,
grossed out


Dear lazy people who throw their trash on the ground,

Seriously? You really can't take the time to find a trash can? You are far too busy to expend the mental and physical energy to throw YOUR trash into a trash receptacle? Well then I think you're a piece of trash and wish I could throw you away.

Sincerely,
tired of picking up garbage so my child doesn't play with it


Dear bossy kids at the playground,

If your parents couldn't hear me I would say something really mean to you. Instead I'm just going to give you the meanest look I can muster and ignore you telling my child he can't play on the slide.

Sincerely,
not looking forward to summer days at the playground with annoying kids

1 comment:

Katie said...

ah! i can't stand mean big kids either! i always want to smack 'em around. although i should watch it because ruth is getting pretty bossy! also, your blog makes me laugh really hard.